Monday, June 6, 2011

Sexual Health - Commonly Asked Questions (part 1)


  1. I am a 25yrs old Male. I have noticed white deposit under my penis skin. Is it something to be worried about? Sometimes it causes itching. Please suggest what I should do.

    Those white deposits are called smegma. It’s a normal secretion by the body.
    It’s important that you clean it daily with soap and water.
    If not washed properly it can become a site for growth of bacteria or function.
    Itching is a sign of infection at that site.
    Consult a dermatologist or sexologist immediately.
    The doctor needs to take a look at it, then diagnose and treat the type of infection involved.

  2. I am 22yrs old male. I have noticed that the size of my testicles are smaller when compared to those men in “blue-films” (porn movies). Is there any trouble for my sex life?

    Testicle size is determined genetically. The function of the testicles is to produce sperms. And if are producing a normal ejaculate than nothing to be worried about.

  3. I am a 25yr old girl from a very good family. I have kissed my boyfriend a few days back. After that this time I started experienced immense pain during my periods. I fear telling my parents, am I pregnant?
    No you are not pregnant. The pain might be due to many reasons, including stress. You can show it to your local gynaecologist.


  4. I am a 24yr old girl. I am in the habit of masturbation. A few days ago I experienced bleeding after masturbation. Does this mean that my hymen is broken?  I fear my husband will never accept me as my virginity is now lost. I am very scared to have lost my hymen without doing anything wrong.Please help
    When in your heart you know that you haven’t done anything wrong than don’t be afraid.
    Rupture of the hymen is not the criteria for virginity. It’s social myth.
    Majority of girls in today’s age experience rupture of hymen much before marriage due to over stretching during  exercises like aerobics or gym, riding a bicycle, running or dancing.
    Any man who is fixated upon such a social myth has the personality of destroying his personal happiness on the influence of anybody.

  5. I was asked to buy condoms during ragging at college. Thou I am a very confident person, I felt a lot of shame and couldn’t do it. Now I want to have sex with my girl friend. She doesn’t want to take OC pills. I still have that fear in my mind, is there any alternative to condoms.
    Remove the fear of buying condoms from your mind. Instead of thinking that you are doing something wrong, remember you are doing something right by buying protection. Those who might judge you are wrong  as they don’t understand what a practical step you are taking in life.

    She is right in avoiding OC pills as long as possible. As they will affect her health.

  6. I  am a very young and beautiful woman. I have been married for the past few months. My husband does not initiate sex. Please help me as I feel I am not complete women for him.
    It’s very important to assess the reasons for the lack of interest in sex. Many men have a fear of not being able to satisfy their partner and try best to avoid sex. They need both physical and emotional encouragement to overcome that fear.
    If problem is beyond your control, you both can consult a psychiatrist or a sexologist.

  7. My penis is bent downwards, is there something to worry. Do I need to get some treatment?
    In many cases  a slight bent in the penis is present. If you feel that you have beyond normal bent, then show to your local sexologist or surgeon to rule out any development deformity.

     
  8. I am 26yr old male. Sex is on my mind almost all the time. I watch porn to feel satisfied, but still the thought doesn’t go away. It gets very embarrassing cause I get an erection, when I start to have sexual thoughts of my colleagues, boss or any women who I see for long time. Please help me.
    Your mind seems to be obsessed with sexual thoughts. It might be sign of high sexual anxiety or your mind developing a sort of Obsessive compulsive problem. Consult a psychiatrist or sexologist immediately before this destroys your professional, personal and social life.

  9. I am 25yr old female. Have been married since 2yrs. My husband is addicted to porn. I have caught him many times watching the same. His performance in bed is also not satisfactory. I am feeling frustrated. Please help me, I fear I will drift apart from my husband and fall into unholy behaviour.
    Porn addiction is a tricky situation. Fantasy world satisfaction can completely overtake real world satisfaction, destroying his sexual life.
    IF you are open minded about it, a good technique that you can use, both of you can watch porn together. Start by enjoying masturbation and slowly move towards intercourse. You can spice it up by wearing dresses shown in the adult movies, so that his attraction towards you increases.

  10. I am 32yrs old. I have observed that my penis becomes soft within few seconds of penetration. This has started a few months ago and since them I am fearful of having sex with my wife. I try to avoid it whenever she comes near to me. Please help me.
    You need to consult a sexologist or psychiatrist to find out if you are having Erectile dysfunction. It’s a common condition that affects most men especially during periods of high stress.
    In those men who are sensitive by nature or those who are extremely concerned about their sexual performance even a single episode of erectile dysfunction can create a negative memory that keeps circulating in their mind. Creating fear and preventing further performance.

  11. I am 24yr old male, I have noticed my right testicles is higher than the left one, is it ok? Normally both testicles don’t lie at the same level. One is higher than the other.  In most cases the right one is higher, but in some it’s the left one. There is nothing to worry about that.


    Thanks for reading

    Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS,PGDPM, MBPS, MD(mindmantra))
    Motivational Speaker - Mind Trainer –
    Emotional, Behavioral, Sleep, Memory and Sexual Health Consultant at Mind Mantra.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Video of Women Battling Sex Addiction

Many people suffer invisibly, they keep and try to control behavior patterns but becomes impossible.
One such problem is sex addiction. A problem which each one who suffers from wants to control, but is helpless.
Sex addiction is not just a problem of men, it also affects women. Here a video of 2 women who are actually battling the issues.



thanks,


Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS,PGDPM, MBPS, MD(mindmantra))
Motivational Speaker - Mind Trainer –
Emotional, Behavioral, Sleep, Memory and Sexual Health Consultant at Mind Mantra.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Cure Pre-Mature Ejaculation by Mind Training


Pre-mature Ejaculation, a problem that affects millions of men.
Here is a video on how men can cure the same by sitting at the comfort of their home.
Cost Effective,Mind training that can make you a Love Guru!!!


brought to you by,

Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS,PGDPM, MBPS, MD(mindmantra))

Motivational Speaker - Mind Trainer –
Emotional, Behavioral, Sleep, Memory and Sexual Health Consultant at Mind Mantra.
http://www.mindmantra.in/
email - eksoch@gmail.com
Facebook profile link - http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/mindmantra.in
Twitter profile link - http://twitter.com/#!/HemanttMittal




Friday, May 20, 2011

5 behaviors that scare women away - are you indulging in them? (part 1)

If a general survey was done on how many colleges going or young working non-married males in India are dying to have a girl-friend or girl-friends, I am sure the "Yes" would outnumber the "No" by many fold.

It's an open secret that only 10-15 from a batch of 100 get to have a girl-friend or more than one girl-friend before marriage, while the rest keep fantasizing about the same.

Like body language which sends invisible subconscious clues to others about the mind-set of a person, the latest trend in " young relationships in India" is showing that one of the main reasons for young girls/ladies to terminate a relationship or be scared to get into a relationship are the invisible subconscious "pervert" sexual behaviours that their male counter-parts are involved in.

5 such male sexual behaviours that can scare a woman to get into a relationship or can even make her break an existing relationship are:

1. Pornography
Porn is everywhere. 95% men have been exposed to porn at least once in their life. And a great majority of the same keep watching it regularly. 
The female brain perceives pornography as negative. Even if some of them might enjoy it in their own privacy, they develop a negative attitude towards guys/men who indulge in such "pleasure watching".
Women have an uncanny 6th sense to know how to either find the "adult" stuff you have loaded on your laptop, cell phone, ipad, etc. Also many might trap you into supplying them with porn material only to create a negative mental impression about you.

In their minds, Subconsciously such men are immediately labelled as "perverts" and are put into the category of "only interested in physical relationships" men.

A few weeks ago I had a case where a young male had consulted me for being in depression after been rejected by the girl of his dreams. In his need to please her, he had gone to all extremes and even supplied some of her friends with porn material, which the girls just wanted to watch for "fun".
It wasn’t surprising that when he proposed to her, she denied saying "how can I trust a man who keeps porn movies in his laptops and even freely distributes it too girls?"

Tip - if you like porn, be intelligent enough to hide it or just delete it.


2. Inappropriate Touching
Testosterone is the male sexual hormone that not only gives men their sexual drive, but is also responsible for a long list of behavioural patterns. Behaviour patterns in which men unconsciously use their bodies in certain ways that many times becomes offensive for those near them.
One such behaviour pattern is inappropriate touching. This can be divided into two parts:
a. Inappropriate touching her - many girls/ladies hate to when guys hug them tightly, grab them by the waist, put a hand on their shoulder, touch their butt, make "inappropriate" moves to touch their bust like suddenly bumping into them or suddenly breaking a bike so their bust can touch their back, etc.
This effect of this is accentuated multiple times if such an act or a similar act is done in public.
Women feel their privacy is being violated by such acts.

A client of mine was fired from work because of a similar situation. A friendly guy by nature, he had no evil intentions and was always tried to be friendly with everyone. He is excessively expressive through his body movements. Hugging other members of his team to express emotions of care and happiness was a normal pattern. Unfortunately he was booked for sexual harassment by a girl who couldn't understand his personality. He was fired with immediate effect, couldn't find another job because of this black remark on his CV and tried to commit suicide for the same.

Tip - be aware of your body movements.

B. Inappropriate touching yourself - many men especially in India have this habit of touching their private parts more often than necessary. While some have no shame of doing it openly in full public view, others specifically do it whenever a girl/lady looks towards them.
In both ways women perceive it as extremely negative.

Tip - You might have a genital fungal infection, get it checked.

 
3. Past sexual Experience

( watch out for the next part and concluding part of this article. If you like this article kindly comment so I know my work is being read by people.)

thanks for reading,

Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS,PGDPM, MBPS, MD(mindmantra))
Motivational Speaker - Mind Trainer –
Emotional, Behavioral, Sleep, Memory and Sexual Health Consultant at Mind Mantra.
http://www.mindmantra.in/
email - eksoch@gmail.com
Facebook profile link - http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/mindmantra.in
Twitter profile link - http://twitter.com/#!/HemanttMittal








Wednesday, May 18, 2011

sex frequency - not daily


According to a recent poll conducted by adult products company Adam and Eve, only three percent of the respondents said they had sex daily.


Nearly 20 percent admitted that they weren't sexually active.

Out of the 1,000 men and women surveyed, 5 percent admitted to never having had sex in their lives while, the majority of respondents (26 percent) said they have sex once or twice a week.

16 percent of the remaining participants said they had sex three to four times a week whereas, 15 percent admitted to having sex once or twice a month, reports the New York Daily News.

7 percent said they had sex every few months.

A mere 1 percent enjoyed sex more than once a day, reveals the poll.

(Source - article on yahoo.co.in)


thanks for reading,
Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS,PGDPM, MBPS, MD(mindmantra))

Motivational Speaker - Mind Trainer –
Emotional, Behavioral, Sleep, Memory and Sexual Health Consultant at Mind Mantra.
http://www.mindmantra.in/  
email - eksoch@gmail.com  
Facebook profile link - http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/mindmantra.in  
Twitter profile link - http://twitter.com/#!/HemanttMittal


Thursday, May 12, 2011

SEXUAL HARRASSMENT- The hidden Truth!!!


SEXUAL HARRASSMENT- The hidden Truth!!!

“A player of Indian women’s hockey teams complaints of sexual harassment by the coach”

“A woman leaves her job, citing differences with management, when the actual reason was her senior’s constant unwanted touching.”

“An upcoming actress is asked for sexual favors in return of a significant role in the movies”

"A 14yr girl suddenly refused to attend school. Her behavior changed to irritable and violent. On psychiatric evaluation it was found that her class teacher had been kissing and fondling her for past 6months. He constantly threatened to fail her in exams if she spoke about it.”

“A man is pinched on the butt by her female boss, and a few days later asked to attend a party at her house. On the day, at the venue, he finds himself alone with his boss who is dressed in sexually provocative style. During the interaction she repeatedly forces herself onto him, he runs out of the apartment just to find himself fired from job next morning.”

These are common examples of the great social evil called “sexual harassment” that plagues our society. Sexual harassment is probably the most common crime committed thru the entire spectrum of social involvement. Every day thousands of men and women are sexually offended at hospitals, schools, corporate houses, offices, courtrooms, etc.

It also has the distinction to being one of the most neglected and concealed crimes within the society. I recently met with a few clients who had quit their jobs because of this evil. The most devastating part was that senior management who knew of what was going on, offered them “significant compensation” a.k.a “a monetary benefit or good remark on the appreciation card” to keep it secret and in some cases to even keep suffering it.

Family pressure, Management pressure, Social pressure, Religious pressure are some of the reasons that 99% of such crimes are never brought to light. Thou it can happen to both men and women. The society has a myopic view point when a man is involved and a crucifying one, when a woman is involved.

Hereby, let’s look at what the whole spectrum of sexual harassment compromises off.

What is sexual harassment?
Its commonly defined as intimidation, bullying or coercion of a sexual nature or the unwelcome or inapproriate promise of rewards in exchange of sexual favours.

The Supreme Court Guidelines on Sexual Harassment, 13 August 1997 has defined sexual harassment as unwelcome sexually determined behavior such as:
a. Physical contact
b. A demand or request for sexual favors
c. Sexually colored remarks
d. Showing pornography
e. Any other unwelcome physical, verbal or non-verbal conduct of a sexual nature

This definition has been further described in detail as following categories of sexual harrasment:
Verbal:
The verbal form of sexual harassment include any one or more of the following incidents:
1. Sexual or gender-based jokes or teasing or comments.
2. Comments about clothing, personal behavior, or a person's body.
3. Requesting for sexual favors.
4. Pressure for dates or meetings outside the professional boundaries.
5. Graphic descriptions of pornography.
6. Obscene phone calls.
7. Spreading rumors about a person's personal or sex life.
8. Turning work discussions to sexual topics (using "puns”).

Non-verbal:
The non-verbal forms of sexual harassment include any one or more of the following incidents:
1. Staring Sizing up a person’s body (looking up and down).
2. Derogatory gestures of a sexual nature.
3. Sexually suggestive looks- Facial expressions of a sexual nature; winking, licking lips.

Physical:
This includes :
1. Unwelcome hugging or kissing.
2. Standing too close to or brushing up against another person, leaning over, invading a person's space without her/his permission.
3. Patting, stroking, grabbing or pinching someone.
4. Blocking someone's path with the purpose of making a sexual advance.
5. Actual or attempted sexual assault or forced fondling.

Visual:
Visually sexual harassment is defined as:
1. Presence of posters, cartoons, drawings, calendars, pinups, pictures, computer programs of a sexual nature.
2. Notes or e-mail containing sexual comments


The criminals?
Sexual harassment is a very dangerous behavioral trait. The perpetuators of such a crime are normally using such behaviors to manifest one or more parts of a defect in their personality. They require immediate neuro-psychiatric help. If not helped and left untreated such menace of the society can go on to commit serious crimes like sexual molestations of minors, sexual perversions (inflicting physical pain to their sexual partners), date-rape, rape, or even murder.

The Victims?
The victims of such a sexual offence suffer with severe emotional and psychological damage. Keeping in mind that social, religious and moral teachings say that Privacy, modesty and sexuality are the most sacred traits in an individual’s personality. When an individual suddenly faces with unwanted intrusion into this personal space, the unconscious mind tries to retaliate. If the intrusion is persistent and the victim helpless to control it, it immediately leads the unconcious to dive into despair, hopelessness and worthlessness. This had devastating consequences on the self-esteem, which are manifested by severe medical problems like clinical depression, addictions, inappropriate sexual behavior and suicides.


How to fight Sexual Harassment?
1. If you know of anyone or any form of sexual harassment happening within your social limits, raise your voice against it.
2. Spread the knowledge about sexual harassment to all your friends and family.
3. Children should be educated to come and share about any awkward behavior by teachers or instructors. Children should be given confidence of parents standing by their side no matter what happens.
4. Children and Adults should be educated on healthy sexual practices, so they never develop such behaviors.
5. If you know anyone who has suffered such an atrocity, stand by that person. Give them support, and help them seek professional help if required so.

An educated society is the first step in fighting the evils of sexual harassments.
Regards,
Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, PGDPM)
www.mindmantra.in
Email- eksoch@gmail.com


Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Why do people abandon their friends when they get a boy-friend/girl-friend?

One of the most common questions asked to me by a lot of people. It might seem beyond logic, but its very common practice to see many people slowly drift apart from their closest friends as soon as they get into a relationship.

How does this happen?
This happens in stages,
a. the initial stage is euphoria, when the new couple is partying and having a lot of fun with their friends.
b. in stage two, the couple might excuse themselves from group activities to spend time alone.
c. in stage three, one of the partners might start finding faulty behavior patterns in the other group members.
d. in stage four, fights between the couple or between the group members might arise.
e. in stage five, the couple will completely cut itself from the other members of the group, just meeting at sometime for obligation sake.


Why does this happen?
The common psychological reasons for this to happen is:
a. obsessive or possessiveness nature- if one of the partners in the new couple is extremely possessive, he/she might prevent the other from interacting with their friends.

b. jealously - if one of the partners in the new couple is jealous of some other member of the group, he/she might will play mind games to make sure they move out of the group.

c. need for personal time - if a couple doesn't get enough personal time or privacy, they might want to spend quality time with each other instead with the group. This eventually alienates them from the other members of the group.

d. lack of common activity- many times guys love to drink and talk about sports, but girls hate the same... a lack of common ground activities might create a psychological friction in one of the partners to interact with the group.

e. insecurity - a highly insecure partner might develop fear or suspicioness on other members of the group. He/she might feel they want to break the couples unity and would press for complete seclusion.

f. taking friends for granted - sometimes friends take others for granted. They always expect them to be present for them. And don't realise when they are drifting apart.


thanks for reading,

Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, PGDPM, MBPS, MD(mindmantra))
free online counseling - eksoch@gmail.com