10 Sexual Problems Every Indian Couple Goes Through

As a Psychiatrist and Relationship Counselor I get the opportunity to meet a lot of people who are gracious enough to share with me, their deepest secrets.

SEX is one issue where both men and women are always hesitant to talk about.

Most of them, want to talk about it, but take sometime to be comfortable and open up their inner mind.

Restless thoughts regarding sex are like a monster that keeps eating the peace of mind, and that's why I encourage talking about your inner sexual feelings

The following statistics are a proof of how much Emotional Pain we could save the society from if we just spoke about SEX in a progressive way.

1. 54% men and 25% women think about sex on a daily basis. - Unable to express these thoughts leads to restlessness, anger and decreased concentration.

2. Average Married Indian couple has sex about 70-90 times a year.

At 1/3 of these encounters are a complete disaster with either one or both partners not being satisfied.

3. More than 80% women think of sexual activity as activity to prove they are loved.

4. More than 50% of women have fake an orgasm, just to keep their husband happy.

Many of these live under the "delusion" that they are able to satisfy not only their wife, but also go ahead and give wrong advice to other man

5. Lack of sexual satisfaction makes a woman feel unwanted, hopeless, restless and depressed.
Its one of the most common reasons for Clinically high levels of depression among married woman.

This is also one of the prime reasons for woman looking to have extra-marital relationships.

6. 80% of Men doubt their sexual capacity at least once in life. Most of them are not happy with their sexual performance, but scared to talk about the same to a professional.
Majority of the advice they get from friends, family or wife increases their restlessness.

7. 2/3 people feel they don't have enough satisfying sex. But lack of proper emotional communication leads to the same.

8. A great majority of men use sex as a way to show their "macho" or "male" supremacy over their female partner.
Henceforth sexual activity becomes a ego tussle.

9. Mutual respect plays a vital role in a satisfying sex life.
82% of sexually satisfied say they feel respected and loved by their partner during sex.

59% are looking for more love and romance in the act.

10. A great majority Indian males and females only focus on the sexual intercourse phase of sex.
Build-up, Fore-play, after-play, experimentation phases are never talked about.

Sex is a beautiful and divine activity. It's a gift of god to increase happiness, increase body immunity, decrease body pains provided it has the right mixture of LOVE to it..

If an individual is not Lovingly Sexually satisfied he/she will fall prey to psychological problems like restlessness, depression, sleep disturbance, body pains, masturbation addiction, pornography (both visual and reading) addiction, increased need to seek satisfaction outside relationship.

Dont just have sex... HAVE LOVING SEX..

for any further query feel free to email me-

Dr.Hemant Mittal
email - eksoch@gmail.com
www.mindmantra.in

Male Sexual Health - Does being Over-Weight Affect Your Sex Life?

India is slowly seeing an alarming rise in obesity specifically within the youth and middle-age group.

While obesity can be linked to many metabolic disorders, one of the main physical disabilities it causes is sexual dysfunctions.

How does obesity affect your sexual desires:

1. Body Image - if looking into the mirror makes you feel less desirable, imagine how your mind reacts when your making love. 

A unfavorable body image, creates a subconscious complex, which leads to decreased sex drive and poor sexual performance.

2. Diabetes - The biggest demon of modern life-style is diabetes. It's not only the sugar levels that increase in your blood that matter.. The blood vessels all over the body including the ones in your penis are affected. This eventually decreases blood supply to the penis, leading to decreased sexual performance.

3. Hormonal changes - Changes in weight can also mean changes in hormone levels, which can affect sex drive. All men convert testosterone (male sexual hormone) to another sex hormone called estradiol in our fat. And men who are overweight can get increased conversion. A decreased testosterone level further decreases sexual desires.

4. Stamina - Over-weight people have less stamina. As the blood requires more time to travel through the layers of fat, the sexual stamina decreases. 

5. Sexual Stress - Even one episode of poor sexual performance can increase the stress in your mind by 200 times. A constant failure due to over-weight can create non-stopping restlessness and trigger a stress-cycle that further decreases sexual drive.

Even a little bit of weight loss may give your love life a boost. Losing as little as 3-5kgs through diet and exercise could help your sexual life by many fold.

For any further information, contact me at- 

Dr.Hemant Mittal

email - eksoch@gmail.com

www.mindmantra.in

clinic address - mind mantra clinic, shreeji plaza, opposite seawoods station (east), nerul.

Masturbation Addiction

Statistics say 95% men and 87% women indulge in this activity at least once in their life...between age of 15-28yrs upto 30% get addicted to it... ironically an activity that gives instant pleasure is also one thats vastly misunderstood... Masturbation Addiction

1. What is Masturbation?

Masturbation is the self-stimulation of genitalia or sexual organs to achieve the height of sexual pleasure or orgasm.

2. Is it holy or unholy?

All religions call this an "unholy" behavior patter. Irrespective of it, everyone rich or poor, educated or uneducated, men or women, religious or atheist will try it more than once in their life.
Religions unfortunately end up creating irrational and stupid myths, fear and negative emotions related to it, which confuse an individual... It creates an undue fear that pushes one towards the addiction. 
Religions should use scientific knowledge to bring control onto addictions.

Myths like masturbation leads to weakness, decrease in bone density or can cause impotence are completely baseless and proven wrong by hundreds of professional medical studies.

Medically, when performed in a controlled and periodic way, its a very healthy process. It helps to release psychologically stored sexual feelings that are very intrusive and havoc causing inside an individuals mind. This even prevents thoughts of rape or sexual assault and cheating on their spouses from developing.

Like stagnant water, which when kept for many days becomes stale and putrid. Sperms stored inside the testis for long term decrease the fertile nature of the sexual organs. Hence masturbation provides a great mean to release the old and help in development of new.

3. What is Masturbation Addiction?

There is no standard definition for over-masturbation or excessive masturbation. Every individual is endowed with a specific reproductive power. 

Masturbation is considered healthy of releasing sexual feelings until it starts hampering your daily life.

When masturbation becomes a habit, it’s performed once every few days. This is a healthy process. But when the thoughts, images and need of masturbation starts to haunt an individual emotionally and psychologically it starts to become an addiction.

Like any other addiction, masturbation addiction once it sets in, leads to lot of physical and emotional complaints.

4. What are the symptoms?

You are most likely to be suffering from a Masturbation Addiction problem if you have 7 or more of the next 10 symptoms.

1. Performed on daily or for most of the days of a week
2. Masturbation is immediately or next day followed by excessive guilt and sadness.
3. Constant unsuccessful attempts to stop the habit. 
4. Even minor Sexual stimulation compels you to indulge in the act. If not done, extreme restlessness, anger or irritation is experience.
5. Productive or working hours of the day are spent thinking about it..
6. Decrease in concentration levels as mind is occupied with stress related to the same.
7. Once the urge to perform is triggered, one doesnt think about the time, place or person he/she is with. He/she just looks for means to perform the act.

8. New and More explicit sexually material is searched and needed for arousal. As older or softer sexual material doesn't give the same sexually arousing effect. 
9. Decreased social interaction specially with opposite gender members, because of the fear of sexually arousing negative thoughts or decreased sexual-confidence.
10. Sleep and appetite disturbance are seen due to the stress levels.

5. What are the harmful effects?
It can lead to behavioral, psychological and sexual effects as:
a. Masturbation in public places
b. Reliance on masturbation as the only way of sexual gratification. 
c. Harm or injuries to the genitals. 
e. Decreased sexual performance with partner. As masturbation is sought to be only way of satisfaction.
f. Inability to perform action or guilt of performing the same leads to continuous irritability and anger due to the high stress and anxiety levels.
g. Decreased concentration in daily activity as mind is preoccupied with thoughts of the same

6. How to treat it?a. You cannot treat it on your own. You can only identify that you have the problem. 
Most people lack the will power to exert self control, this further decreases their self image. its advised that professional help of a counselor, sexologist or psychiatrist is taken to help you battle this problem.

b. First step is the Identification of current stress levels an individual is facing with.
c. It has to be started with Counseling for stress levels. Specialized techniques are used to target the stress levels.
d. if a severe obsessive component is observed, it indicates hyperactivity in the sexual thoughts producing areas of the brain. Counseling, exercises and treatment for the same is available.



For any further Information or query feel free to consult me:
Dr.Hemant Mittal
Sex counselor - NeuroPsychiatrist
email - eksoch@gmail.com
website - www.mindmantra.in

Women – 20 Medical and Psychiatric facts about Sex.

“A powerful individual is one who is comfortable with his body”

Sex  is probably the most tabooed subject in our society. 90% of men and women are extremely shy to talk about it. As a sexual health counsellor at Mind Mantra Wellness Clinic, I have met thousands individuals (both men and women) who are going through extreme unhappiness because they haven’t been able to accept, express and enjoy their sexual desires.

 The following are essential medical facts that every man and woman in search of productive and stimulating sexual life, should be aware regarding the female sexual health:

1.     Women are more open to discuss about sex with their friends, than men. – Unfortunately as most of their friends also harbour half knowledge about it, this tends to propagate myths.

2.     A Higher number of women believe that sex is unholy. – If it was unholy, why would god let your body produce sex hormones which trigger desire and want.

3.     A woman takes between 10-12min to reach an orgasm – While a man take 3-5min. (what they show in porn movies is staged!!!)

4.     40% women accept to have or regularly masturbate. – The rest 60% suppress their desires. – It’s important to note that Continuous suppression of sexual desires, re-programs the body to think that sexual hormones are not required, henceforth decreasing the thoughts and want for sex in life.

5.     When women have an orgasm, their body secrete enormous amounts of oxytocin, also called “the bonding hormone”. This hormone is responsible for causing their brain to feel extremely attached to their partner. Hence sex carries an emotional significance to it.  Men don’t have the same, so sex is more of an exercise for them.

6.     84% women report to have sex simple to “keep the peace” or “Keep the husband happy” at home.

7.     More than 60% Indian woman have never experienced a complete pleasurable orgasm in their life.- Either they have never been thought the right way of having sex or their husbands are just focused onto intercourse. Remember sex is an exercise that’s much more than simple intercourse.

8.     Only 30% women reach orgasm during intercourse, compared to 75% men.

9.     60% women have faked an orgasm at some point of time in their lives.

10.   9 out of 10 sexually active women use a contraceptive method without consulting a professional. They mostly rely on friends and some elder family member to give them the information. – such information is 80% right, 20% wrong.

11.  For a woman to have an orgasm during sex, her amygdala of center for excessive thought generation must be turned off. Hence a woman who is extremely anxious, fearful, or spends too much time thinking might never reach an orgasm. – This is the major reason why most woman never achieve an orgasm and long for productive, fruitful and efficient sexual life.

12.  Upto 10% women have the need to of same-sex or “homosexual” attraction. This is much lower compared to upto 15-20% of males who feel the need for same.

13.  Upto 19% of women think about sex on a daily basis. – this category is dominated by either women with depression due to lack of complete sexual satisfaction by husband, woman with extremely high sexual desires due to medical problems like hypomania,  erotomania or nymphomania and woman with extremely high need to be centre of attraction.

14.  70% women would rather eat chocolate than have sex. – This reflects the poor quality of sexual life they are subjected to.

15.  In India Among contraceptives – The Pill is the most popular, followed by male condom, female condom and tubal sterilization.

16.  After 2^nd year of marriage, most women report to have sex only a handful number of times. – Among married woman, upto 10% have never had sex in the past year. About 30% have had it less than 15 times in the year.

17.  Most women agree that their most satisfying sexual experiences happen when they feel connected to someone, rather than solely based on physical satisfaction.

18.  Working women within the higher income bracket are more prone to seek and be involved with multiple sexual partners – as their brain utilises sex as stress reliever for them.

19.  Women with high “inferiority complex” and extremely high dependency needs are most liable to be subjected to perversions. Most common perversions include forced sexual encounters with family members and being accomplice of their husbands unnatural sexual practices.

20.  The break of trust by a boyfriend or husband can trigger a woman to utilize sex as an instrument for personal, physical and professional self-satisfaction.

If you have any sexual health related problem, don't hesitate, contact me immediately... ALL COMMUNICATIONS ARE KEPT SECRET.

Dr.hemant Mittal
Neuro-Behavioural Consultant, Sexual Health and Wellness Expert
(MBBS, PG.DPM, M.D.(Mind Mantra Wellness Concepts - Mumbai))

Website - www.mindmantra.in         
Email - eksoch@gmail.com
WELLNESS CLINIC Address- 15, shreeji plaza, Next to Seawood Station (east), Navi Mumbai, Mumbai (India)

Facebook - http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/mindmantra.in
Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/172863752767481/

Learn how to control Men.

1.) Just say hi.
An international survey showed that men love it when a woman takes control and makes the first move.
"Just go over and say hi,"
You can go wrong with this tactic.

2.) Don't show-off your knowledge, create a challenge instead.
Ego kills the charm.
The more knowledge or discussions you get into, the less affection you develop.
Real Men love a challenge. So learn the art of gently poking fun and laughing... Teasing is a great challenge which makes men run after a girl.

3.) Learn to Listen.
The most important step after you have crossed the initial "hello" stage is to create a space in the guys heart. This can only be done if you listen to him.
I know you are eager to talk and share so many things with him, but before you reach that stage, make sure the guy is under your spell.
"you give something to get back a lot"
learn to listen.


4.) Ask guys questions
Real Men are Raw... While a new age breed spends hours in front of the mirror, those who are determined to achieve success in life, are out there doing something.
Ask a guy about his workout, his friends, his cars, his bikes and his likes and dislikes.
Don't jump to give an opinion about everything...
I once counseled a very successful Senior Manager in a Fortune 500 company, he was a great success in his profession but a bigger failure in relationships... He used to say "I know I'm not the best-looking guy, But the only thing that look for in a girl is to understand that all this money, cars, gadgets are my way of expressing love for her."

5.) Touch therapy.
Some men are desperately physical.. They just want to be touched and hugged all the time...
The greater lot is not. They like to keep it light and specific in public.
Learn his "comfort points".. were a light touch will send signals all over his body.
Learn the importance of  "pressure" in a hug.
become his touch therapist.



FEEL FREE to contact me on the above or any other mood swings, sleep, memory, thoughts, stress or sexual health related issues. -

Dr.Hemant Mittal  (MBBS, PG.DPM, M.D.(Mind Mantra Wellness Concepts - Mumbai))
Website - www.mindmantra.in         
Email - eksoch@gmail.com

WELLNESS CLINIC - Next to Seawood Station (east), Navi Mumbai, Mumbai (India)
Facebook - http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/mindmantra.in
Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/172863752767481/

Sexual changes in both Men and Women due to Diabetes

Age and sex are two friends who constantly need to work upon their relationship. It's been proven that if taken in the positive way, sex can actually become a very relaxing and liberating experience with age.

One of the major reasons for Sexual Problems as one ages is the development of Diabetes. A devastating disorder. One of its more debilitating effects is the severe damage it causes upon urological and sexual blood and nerves.
While the sexual dysfunctions are common in both men and women.

Common sexual changes experienced by Men with diabetes
a. ED or Erectile Dysfunction - the inability to have a firm and satisfying erection. Estimated to be present in 55-75% patients, its known as the biggest havoc of happiness, manhood and successful relationships in middle aged men.

b. Retrograde Ejaculation- Retrograde ejaculation is a condition in which part or all of a man’s semen goes into the urinary bladder instead of coming out through the tip of the penis during ejaculation. It occurs due to weakening of the sexual muscles.
It's easily identifiable when the patient notices a decreased quantity of semen being discharged during ejaculation or presence of semen in the urine.

c. Premature Ejaculation - It's the inability to sustain any form of erection (firm or flaccid) for a long time. The partner normally complains or a man can feel how his ejaculation time has decreased. Creating dissatisfaction among the sexual relationship.


Common Sexual changes experience by women with diabetes
Many women never come out in the open to discuss their sexual problems. Also many tend to keep following their partners wish. This doesn't discount the wide presence of sexual changes experienced in women suffering from diabetes. These include:

a. Dyspareunia  or Painful Sexual intercourse - Increased blood sugar is known to decrease uro-genital functioning. A lack of vaginal lubrication, vaginal dryness, vaginal infections (fungal, UTI, bacterial) are some of the commonest signs that lead to a painful sexual intercourse.

b. Decreased or no desire for sexual activity - Diabetes can induce both a psychological and physical depression, whereby the lady has a decreased desire for sexual activity. As this increases, it creates a negative image in her mind, whereby sexual activity is not even thought about.

c. Decreased or absence of sexual arousal-  Physical damage by Diabetes to genital nerves and blood supply chain can cause lack of pleasure sensations in the genital area. This increases or in many cases completely stops the sexual arousal mechanism of the mind.
"Turning on the heat" becomes extremely difficult in between the sheets.

d. Decreased or absence of Orgasm - The prime aim of any sexual activity is to attain orgasm. If the aim is not fulfilled the activity becomes worthless.
As already discussed Diabetes, increases the blood sugar levels, which eventually destroy the genital nervous system, leading to complete absence or extremely faint feeling of orgasm.


TREATMENT
1. Control of Blood Sugar Levels.
2. Sexual Consultancy that has to focus upon the following:
a. Understanding the love - a communication bridge has to be opened and developed between the partners. Whereby they are able to express their physical needs.
Even though a temporary inability to satisfy the need, alternate methods have to be openly discussed for both partners sexual satisfaction.

b. Careful Pharmacy - one of the easiest routes taken by majority of people is ask the nearest chemist what medications to take. The Chemist uses his general knowledge to prescribe something. The instant pleasure can lead to excessive future damage.
Consult a professional sexologist, endocrinologist or urologist to get a complete checkup of your problem.
Poping medications is not the solution to everything.

c. Exercises and diet - a specific aphrodisiac diet and similar exercises can be given to the couple. To increase the love and bonding, some exercises include stimulation by partner, which helps to increase intimacy and love.

d. Medical treatment- any infection has to be treated to prevent unwanted pain during the sexual process


FEEL FREE to contact me at my Wellness Clinic or Online
For complete consultation on the above or any other emotional, sleep, memory or sexual health related issues. -

Dr.Hemant Mittal  (MBBS, PG.DPM, M.D.(Mind Mantra Wellness Concepts - Mumbai))
Website - www.mindmantra.in         
Email - eksoch@gmail.com

WELLNESS CLINIC - Next to Seawood Station (east), Navi Mumbai, Mumbai (India)
Facebook - http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/mindmantra.in
Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/172863752767481/

Durex Sex Survey - Interesting insight into the world of Sex

Durex the international brand in sexual health products conducted a worldwide survey. And here are the results.

1. What’s your number?
According to a Durex survey, men across the globe have had an average of 13 sexual partners throughout their lifetime, while women have had seven. 

Guys and girls often shy away from honesty when it comes to discussing their number; too low and they fear embarrassment, too high and they face being judged.
According to the survey just 66 per cent of people are content with their ‘number’, while 22 per cent wish they’d slept with less people and 12 per cent would have liked to have slept with more.

2. Pop your cherry
The average male loses his virginity at age 16.9, while apparently females hold off, on average, until the ripe age of 17.4. 

Popping your cherry, deflowering, or whatever you want to call it, having sex for the first time is a significant part of anyone’s life and isn’t something that shouldn't be rushed into without proper knowledge.

3. Happy ending

Expectations of sex are often unrealistic due to farfetched portrayals of the act on the big screen, adult movies and TV. The truth is through research suggests that only 29 per cent of women reach ‘the big O’ or get an orgasm every time they have sex. This is far different when compared to a 75 per cent of men.
Why is it so?
This may be because, according to Durex, due to the couples lack of knowledge about sex, 75 per cent of all women never reach orgasm from intercourse alone,  and 10 to 15 per cent have untreated psychological problems due to which they never climax under any circumstances.

4. In the mood for love
The study showed that for 56 per cent of women, men’s facial hair is a strong trigger for sexual arousal. Apparently, a man with three days’ worth of stubble is more sexually attractive than a clean shaven man.  

In case of men its a long, steamy kiss that gets 35.4 per cent of men aroused and in the mood for love.

5. Weekly quota
Busy lifestyles, manic workload, hectic social life; who has time for sex every day? On a more realistic note,  Durex survey showed that 67 per cent of adults have sex once a week and only eight per cent have it once a day or more. 

The key is whatever works best for you –being honest with your lover will keep you both in check of each other’s sex schedules.

6.Fake it to make it
It’s not uncommon for guys or gals to fake an orgasm, either to prevent themselves or their partner from embarrassment or a feeling of inadequacy under the sheets.
Upto 30 per cent of women would fake it so as not to upset their partner. While 26 per cent said they would be frank if they couldn’t climax. Eight per cent of women even admitted to making it a regular habit!
Fakers are at higher risk of getting into depression, looking for extra-marital affairs or having a feeling of incompleteness. 

7. Sex secrets
Being honest and open about your sexual needs and desires will help improve your overall sexual satisfaction by teaching your partner how to press all the right buttons and keep you blissful in the bedroom. However, only 58 per cent of people are comfortable with telling their lover exactly what they want in bed, which is probably why only 38 per cent are fully satisfied with their sex lives.
This is one of the main reasons for both men and women looking for sexual satisfaction outside their relationship. It cannot be denied that a health sexual life is equally important as a healthy emotional life.

8. Masturbation or Do it Yourself
According to the Durex survey, self-pleasure is widely practiced, with 83 per cent of people across the globe stating they have self-pleasured at some point in their lives.
43 per cent of men and 22 per cent of women repeat the act more than once a week, making it a really common sexual activity. 

9. How long and how often?
On average, sex sessions last between three and 13 minutes. 50.4 per cent of men would want it to last for 30 minutes while 25.5 per cent would want sex for 15 minutes.
Incorporating sex into your life does have its benefits, including stress relief and increased energy, but there is no right or wrong quota you need to hit – we’re not all bunny rabbits!

10. Better with age
65 per cent of over 50s are sexually active, with 46 per cent claiming to have sex once a week. 85 per cent feel that sex at a more mature age is less pressurised than when they were teens or young adults, suggesting that sex can get better with age (like many things in life).

For any further assistance on this topic or any other emotional, sleep, memory or sexual health related issues feel free to contact me at-

Dr.Hemant Mittal  (MBBS, PG.DPM, M.D.(Mind Mantra Wellness Concepts - Mumbai))
Website - www.mindmantra.in         
Email - eksoch@gmail.com
Facebook - http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/mindmantra.in
Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/172863752767481/