5-simple ways to last longer in Bed

5 simple ways to last longer in bed

Ancient Hindu Manuscripts have timed and again mentioned that achieving a “satisfying orgasm” is experiencing nirvana (or eternal bliss) on earth. This has been proven by modern neuro-psychiatric medical researchers, who have found out that an “satisfying orgasm” triggers the releases of huge amounts of positive neuro-chemicals. These chemicals psychologically transport a person into a stage of blissful trance.

Now you might have noticed that I have emphasised on the word “satisfying orgasm”. A Satisfying orgasm is an essential sexual, psychological and physical necessity of every Individual.

A “Satisfying” orgasm can easily be described as a complete orgasm. It starts with sexual stimulation. This causes increased production of sexual hormones. These hormones start a set of emotional and psychological reactions that push the body towards having sex. If the process of sexual intercourse is consummated in a long lasting and mutually pleasurable way, it leads to the experience of nirvana or eternal bliss. A feeling so powerful that enhances the sexual pleasure from a few minutes to few hours or days.

It’s proven that 50-60% of sexual interactions don’t reach this stage of satisfaction. I personally have counselled around 1026 cases in my capacity as a sex therapist. The effects of this dissatisfaction are widespread through the entire spectrum of personal, professional and social well being.

The most common markers of such a problem are:
A. Female partner faking an orgasm to please their partner
B. Male partner having premature ejaculation.
C. Decreased interest in sexual act by one or both partners.
D. Increased anxiety related to sex.
E. Decreased communication and avoidance regarding the topic of physical closeness.

5 simple counselling tips, I have used with ultimate success in enlightening the sex life of nearly 960 couples over the last two years, are as following:

a. Talk Dirty- sex is more of a mental game than a physical game. It’s important to keep a continuous flow of positive sexual energy and sexual hormones much before actual the sexual act.
SMS, phone calls, emails, little naughty messages left next to the bed or under the pillow are amazing natural aphrodisiacs to spice up your sex life.

b. Spend time on foreplay- I have seen, an uncanny lack of knowledge about foreplay and its benefits among hundreds of educated couple.
In the classical Indian orthodox family culture, the trigger for sex, is based on the male partners desire. The female partner is reduced to just comply with his wishes.
The physical expression of love and affection, is reduced to a few minutes of rapid body strokes rather than a lengthy physical interaction.
The best way to increase your sexual pleasure is to increase your sexual interaction time not your sexual intercourse time.

c. Thought Control – The mind has a very bad thought-hoarding habit. It loves to stores as many thoughts and experiences it can. It also has a bad habit of bringing these thoughts out at the wrong time.
One of the major reason for failure in bed is due to continuously thinking about worldly issues.
If you have this problem, you can see the amazing change in your body and mind sexual experience if you learn thought-control. The easiest way is to use meditation 5min twice a day.

d. Sex Positions – 90% couples indulge in sex through the missionary position. Over a period of time, the body and mind become used to it, and looses pleasure in performing the same.
Positions like woman on top, penetrating from behind, spoons position, standing, sitting and kneeling are advisable to be followed.
A further spice can be added by utilizing pieces of furniture like chairs, sofa and tables instead of just the bed.
The most important point to keep in mind, is to find a position that’s comfortable and pleasurable for both.

e. Feed-Back- The only way to make a successful product is by understanding the consumers need. Similarly the best way to create the perfect sex is by getting and giving feedback to your partner.
I encourage couples who come to me for sex therapy, to find some little time alone during the week or month. The essential setting for this discussion require they are alone, NOT in their bed-room, and preferably with a piece of paper. (some couples love to take it as a date to discuss about sex).

They have to be truthful to each other, and the important headings of discussion should include:
i. Likes and dislikes of each other during the act
ii. Ideas for improving the act
iii. The most pleasurable sexual encounters they have had
iv. Any other topic related to their sexual life they want to add.

Practise and master these simple techniques. I assure you, your sexual life will illuminate your entire self. The happiness in your soul will heal all your physical and emotional problems.


Regards,

Dr.Hemant Mittal (MBBS, PGDPM)
Neuro-Psychiatrist, sex therapist and Motivational Speaker
Email- eksoch@gmail.com
http://www.mindmantra.in/